Transmuting into a Recluse

I don’t know when it started but I want it to end ASAP.

There was a time when I religiously remembered the birthday of the remotest relative, even my sixth cousin for that matter. Forgetting the birthday of friends was as bad as committing the most hideous sin. But of late, it seems, “birthday hai? Acha thik hai…will put a post on Fb”. At max, will tag the birthday boy or girl…that should be sufficient to make his or her day‼

When did this exactly start happening? I have no clue but yes, this is what is indeed happening. Even before calling or texting my bestest pals, I have to think as to what will I exactly talk? And after two minutes keep my phone aside….chod na..will call after sometime‼

The other day a staff at gym asked me as to why don’t I interact with others or even a single person? Is there nobody I know over here? (this question is a big thing when you are living in a small city like Varanasi….you gotta know at least one out of 10 or 20 people you meet at a gathering such as Talwarkar’s….sorry but I don’t consider other members anything better than this).

Is it being snobbish? Well, that’s what some people thought of me in the MBA classes I had joined for like two months last year…but things were really different then…but somehow was the beginning of the current situation. They thought I was a snob because I came five minutes before the class started and left immediately and interacted with nobody (contrast this with the fact I am still in touch with my friends from 10^th and 12^th standard classes). I’ll tell you a secret..you know half the time I did not interact because somewhere I had this feeling that whatever I will say or want to say, they wouldn’t understand that, I mean my thoughts, ideas and opinions….hmmm…was I being snobbish in this?

Another adjective to describe my condition that comes to my mind is “parochial” or “clannish”. But I can bet on this that I was never clannish or parochial else I wouldn’t have had such diversity of friends or friends from such diverse situations, backgrounds, streams or whatever. My being clannish is also not possible because I have never been compatible with people of my own clan :P :P

Now coming to being recluse…well I know its a temporary phenomenon and happens when people start going their own ways or have little time to share or little things to talk about. But its like in my case it has been kind of prolonged and please do not relate it with my being at home or something. I have kind of enough to keep me pre-occupied and enough time at hand to talk to friends or even socialise…but don’t feel at all up to it. (I know a certain segment of people are gonna ridicule this because of the flurry of activities and going out involved in till a week back but trust me that was also more or less made fun and exciting by presence of Harsh, Harsha’s cute and Shinchan-kind brother :P :P)

Well, I just wrote this all too randomly, without paying a single thought to what I am writing. Do comment if you connect with my condition at some point. Avoid reading it if you are bored with the first paragraph itself…