Almost Married

Ok, as I sit anticipating the results of my blood report, I thought of writing this long overdue blog of mine. Before I get started, my sincerest apologies to Miss Hiral Shah. Hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. If I manage to survive this cataclysmic ailment of mine, I shall surely write about you :P :P

Disclaimer: …my extra brainy friends…please do not think that this blog is any harbinger for nuptial announcements or my plans to consider matrimony as one of the to-do things in the near future…it was just what I felt like about writing for it does lighten up my rather dull days…

Now coming to the topic at hand, Almost Married. Well, my friends who have read a few of my posts on a recent wedding portal are more than convinced that I have secretly married some jerk or something like that, otherwise I would not have achieved such great insights into the functional dynamics of the most complex relationship on this planet, Marriage.

How I loved writing about Venice and it being an ideal honeymoon destination (insider tale: it was directly borrowed from one of the regency collections of Mills & Boon…a smart Google search assured me that there will be no plagiarism issues :D). How much ever I hated it but I had to make a few modifications here and there until it turned out perfect and I was on board as a regular writing member…cheers‼

The initial topics were not all that great….the two things that drove me to write were the section titled “Real people, real wedding” and the Pay :P

Writing about real weddings was actually so much fun…I had the liberty to even cook up stuff and I actually put my brains to work to come up with perfect wedding ideas for all my friends who are currently in a relationship :D (when your stories get posted, I shall mail you the link… ;) the outrageousness committed in there will surely lead to my extinction as my friends will not take a single moment in poisoning me once they read what has been written ;)

Oh, by the by, I did not even spare some of my relatives and gave nice twists and turns to their nuptial arranged almost a decade ago ;) I also realized as to how monotonous maarwari weddings are…the same rituals, the same order in which they are performed, everything more or less uniform..nothing different at all…and I also realized that there has been not a single case of elopement in my near or distant family‼ oh! What a shame :D

I would always get carried away in spinning love tales when the actual purpose of writing was to highlight the planning aspects…but then who cares ;)

The Next Big Thing

A brand new section was allotted to me and it was Relationship Issues. As such am the most unsuitable person to write on this…because of…well the obvious reasons and I do not state the obvious ;) this was a challenge and I was immensely helped (yet again) by my friends who kept fighting with their beloveds for the most silliest reasons which surprisingly were indeed great Relationship Issues :P :P

all I had to do was consider the most recent problem or reason for fight between my friends and their beaus…and try coming up with probable solutions :D I am not sure whether it would have worked in their case, but my work did get approved on all occasions and am highly grateful to them..You Guys Rock :P

Special thanks (yet again) to Sharad Jain who is my only married friend and to whom I referred all the write-ups to test their validity…must say, he has been there, done that…you are the best ‼ :P and any way, it felt like being virtually married all the while writing these stuff (pun intended ;)

But I must say now am quiet knowledgeable about certain dynamics of this sacred and secular institution called Marriage…so much so that now I have a specific list of Do’s and Don’t’s…for me as well as the unfortunate soul who will…well…u know ;)

Here are a few classic statements made by some of my friends:

Accept it when you are wrong, just keep quiet when you are right…follow this and you will be convinced that you are indeed the most fortunate man on this earth in the most happy relationship that could ever be J J….

I have already compromised on my Ego, I will not give up my self-respect ‘so easily’….rofl… :P :P

We have been dating since 4 years now, why can’t he understand my feelings without my having to express them :P :P (Poor guy…it is not his fault that he is not as psychic as Octopus Paul :D)

And the best one: All the jealousy, insecurity etc etc is just there because ‘I love you….please forgive me this last one time…is it too much to ask for sweets??” :P :P

But what I found most despicable was when my friends would say “you won’t understand because you have not been in a relationship”….OMG…how I felt like throttling them then and there‼

P.S. : Piu, will we ever find the “Yoyo” kind men who will behave like…well a “Yoyo”… ??